A person’s relationship with food develops based on learnings from family, friends, the environment, advertisements, and social messaging. This article discusses what a healthy relationship with food is, the signs of an unhealthy relationship with food, and steps to take to improve it.

What Does a Healthy Food Relationship Look Like?

A relationship with food is not just about the foods eaten or not eaten; it’s about how someone chooses what to eat and when and how they think about food. Having a good relationship takes work, time, practice, curiosity, and patience to improve it.

Signs You Might Have an Unhealthy Relationship With Food

In the United States, an unhealthy relationship with food is promoted by diet culture, which tells people they must lose weight and restrict and control their food intake. These messages shape a person’s eating behaviors from a young age.

Some typical signs of an unhealthy relationship with food include:

• Following fad diets or yo-yo dieting
• Ignoring the body’s natural hunger and fullness cues
• Worrying what others will think based on the foods chosen to eat
• Mentally coding food as “good” and “bad” and labeling oneself “good” or “bad” based on foods eaten
• Having rules or food rituals dictating what someone will and won’t eat and when (like no eating after 6 PM)

Sometimes, an unhealthy relationship with food can develop into either disordered eating or an eating disorder. Below are three disordered eating patterns that may develop from an unhealthy relationship with food.

Binge Eating

Binge eating is the uncontrolled eating of large amounts of food in a short period of time. Usually, there is a disconnection during the binge eating period that feels like the eating was done in a trance-like state. The foods eaten in a binge are usually nutrient-poor foods.

Emotional Eating

Emotional eating, sometimes called emotional hunger, occurs when people use food to cope with emotions rather than deal with their feelings. After engaging in emotional eating, the feelings return with additional guilt from the foods eaten.

Food Addiction

Some people feel they are addicted to certain foods and that they must avoid those foods at all costs. Often, the feeling of being addicted to food comes about due to restricting foods. When the restriction is lifted, the person may initially eat the food uncontrollably and beyond fullness rather than in appropriate portions while honoring their fullness cues.

Over time, as they work to improve their relationship with food and remove food restrictions, they discover that food can be eaten in appropriate amounts whenever desired.

Ways to Have a Better Relationship With Food

When someone has a healthy relationship with food, they don’t feel the need to eat “perfectly.” They eat what they want, when they want, without restriction. There are no feelings of guilt or shame based on food choices. Food no longer has a hold over them.

Below are some steps that can be taken to improve people’s relationships with food.

Don’t Limit Food Intake

One of the scariest things for those working on improving their relationship with food is to remove all restrictions on foods they will or will not eat. They are concerned that if they begin eating a favorite forbidden food, they will not be able to stop.

However, research and experience shows this is not the case. Once all foods are available, people may overeat them at first, but then, they lose their power, and overeating no longer occurs.

Start a Food Mood Diary

Keep a diary of when eating is done for emotional reasons versus body hunger. Without judgment, record the feelings being felt and the foods eaten. Open journaling can help address the feelings that influence eating, including writing about what could be done differently next time. These reflections can help people learn why they choose to eat when feeling difficult emotions and find other ways to process them without food.

Practice Mindful Eating

Mindless eating occurs when people ignore their food and how their body feels while eating. This is a common behavior as people spend more time looking at screens.

Mindful eating means fully tuning into the experience of eating – being present with your food and your body. For example, before beginning to eat, the level of hunger and how one’s body feels are assessed. As food is eaten, the food taste and textures are noted, as is how the flavors and textures change. Throughout the meal, stop and re-assess the hunger level and how the body feels. Once a pleasant fullness is felt, a choice can be made to stop or continue eating.

Mindful eating takes time and practice. An easy way to start is to practice one aspect, such as assessing the body’s hunger levels at the beginning, middle, and end of the meal, and then add another element. Another option is to practice as many parts as possible for three bites at the beginning or middle of the meal.

Learn More About Healthy Eating and Healthy Foods

Learning what healthy eating, healthy foods, and healthy dietary patterns look like can help redefine someone’s relationship with food. Learning about the food groups and what carbohydrates, protein, and fats do for the body can help when making food choices.

Make Healthier Food Choices

Once people understand what healthy eating looks like, they can improve their eating habits and have a better diet quality. More nutritious food choices help meet essential nutrient needs for calories, protein, fats, carbohydrates, and vitamins and minerals. When combined with mindful eating, it has been reported that healthy food tastes better than they remember, which makes choosing healthier foods easier.

How Can a Registered Dietitian Aid You on Your Journey?

A Registered Dietitian is a health professional and nutrition expert who helps people develop a healthy relationship with food. They teach their clients about healthy eating, making healthy food choices, and eating mindfully, among other things.